Making him whole Read online

  “Uh, Darik?” a feminine voice asked.

  “Who is this?” My brain wasn’t functioning enough to even try to figure out who the voice belonged to. I just hoped it wasn’t Cecilia’s sister. I wasn’t ready to face her or their parents yet.

  “It’s Tessa… You told me to call you if they released me before you came back.”

  I sat up and rubbed my hands over my face. “Fuck, okay. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

  “No, it’s fine. I can call a cab to take me to a hotel. I was just doing what you asked.” Her voice started to shake with what I assumed was fear.

  “Tess, it’s fine. I was resting, but I can be there to get you in twenty minutes if you’ll let me.” I needed her to know that she had a choice with me. “Will you let me come get you and bring you to my house, Tessa?”

  There was a long silence on the other end. I knew she was weighing her options. I didn’t want her to think I was forcing her to stay with me, but I also didn’t want her to feel like her only option besides going back to the home she shared with her abuser was a hotel.

  “I have a couple of questions before I answer that question.”

  I don’t know why, but I smiled, the movement forcing the skin that had gone stiff from tears to stretch. “Ask away.”

  “Question number one. Do you have a bed for me that won’t displace you from your own?”

  “Yes, I have three guest rooms and two of them have queen size beds in them. The third has a twin…” I was going to say for Cecilia’s nephew.

  My nephew as well, technically, though Cecilia hadn’t wanted to have him stay over since he was two. I’d actually only met the kid twice now that I thought about it.

  “Good,” Tessa paused, then I heard someone asking if she was ready to go. I needed to hurry. “Sorry, the nurse is waiting to wheel me down to the lobby.”

  “I’m heading out the door now, what was the second question?” I asked, heading toward the garage.

  “Second question, right. What’s your eating policy?”

  I stopped in my tracks, my hand on the handle of the door to the garage where my Suburban was parked, keys dangling from my fingers. “My what?”

  “Eating policy. Like how much is each person allowed to eat in your house?”

  “Jesus, Tess, there is no eating policy in my house.” I headed out the door and unlocked my SUV. “I’m about to be driving so I’m gonna hang up. I’ll meet you in the lobby in about twenty minutes.” I did my best to hide the fact that I was pissed off that she thought I was going to limit what she ate. Bullshit.

  “Okay. I’ll stay with you then. Just till I get on my feet,” Tessa said hesitantly.

  “We’ll talk more when we’re both safely back here. See you soon.” I didn’t wait for her to respond before hanging up.

  There were too many emotions warring inside of me right now.

  Taking a calming breath, I started the Suburban and pulled out of the garage, heading to the hospital.

  I had a feeling that living with me was going to be a hell of a lot different for Tessa than living with her piece of shit husband.

  He was better off dead…

  Chapter Twelve

  Tessa

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about Darik hanging up on me.

  The grieving part of my brain told me to understand and let it go. He was grieving too. He’d loved his wife. The scared part of my brain told me to go stay at a hotel because he clearly didn’t want us in his house. He was just letting me stay out of guilt for being half responsible for the accident.

  He’d saved me.

  I placed my hand over my bump. “He saved us both,” I whispered to my bean. My son.

  The news that I was having a boy was still settling into my brain.

  “Did you get ahold of your ride?” the nurse asked, coming into the room with a wheelchair.

  I nodded. “Yea, he’s on his way now. Said it’ll be about twenty minutes or so.”

  “I’m sure we can find something to keep you busy until he arrives. Wanna go down to the gift shop and look around? It’s right next to the lobby so we’ll see him when he comes in.”

  “Sure.” I looked down at my sprained wrist in my sling and tried to maneuver to the edge of the bed with one arm.

  The doctor had told me I was lucky it was only sprained. I’d used my hands to protect my stomach as the car rolled. Even unconscious, I protected my baby.

  The nurse rolled the wheelchair closer.

  “Can you help me?” I hated asking her for help.

  “Of course, honey.” She locked the wheels on the wheelchair and stepped around so she was on the side of my bed. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna move your legs to the side and then I’ll help you scoot to the edge. After we have you that far, you’ll stand just long enough for me to move the chair to you. Sound like a plan?”

  “Yes. I’m ready.” I braced myself for the pain that would come with her touching me and moving my sore body.

  Slowly and gently, she helped me move my legs and then just as gently helped me scoot to the edge of the bed. It hurt like hell. I bit my lip and pushed through the pain with a promise to myself that I would have as much pasta as I wanted when I got to Darik’s.

  “Ready to stand?” the nurse asked and I nodded before letting her pull me to my feet. “Now stay right there while I grab the chair.” She moved the chair and helped me ease down into it.

  “That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life,” I panted. I was out of breath from pushing through the pain. “I don’t know how I’m gonna get in and out of bed once I’m home.” I didn’t want to mention the fact that I wasn’t going home. I didn’t even consider the house that I’d shared with Zack a home.

  It was my prison.

  “Don’t you have family or someone that you can call to help? We can set you up with an in-home nurse if you have the money.”

  Oh, I had the money. Zack had made good money and would only spend what he had to to keep up appearances. We had a very nice twenty-five hundred square foot house. It had two bedrooms, one of which he’d used for an office. The rest was windows and open space. It was cold and mostly empty inside. Like my husband’s heart.

  “I don’t have any family left. I’m an only child and I lost my dad a couple of years ago. It’s just me and the bean.” I patted my bump.

  The nurse laughed. “Bean, huh? I hope you aren’t planning on actually naming them that.” She wheeled me out of the room toward the elevators.

  “I’m not. I don’t know why I call him that, it’s just what my brain has been calling him since I saw that plus sign on the pregnancy test.”

  “Did your husband call him that too?” I burst into tears, but not for the reason the nurse was probably thinking. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

  I got myself back under control as we entered the elevator. “No, it’s fine,

  I sniffled, wiping my eyes. Stupid hormones. “It was a reasonable question. And he’d just found out because I was hiding it from him. I don’t want to repeat what he called our son when he found out.” I’d felt a little ashamed for oversharing.

  I just didn’t want people thinking Zack was some great guy that would be missed. He didn’t deserve that.

  “That’s right. You’re the one with the extra injuries to your back… Your husband did that to you?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, I might be a bitch for saying this, but good damn riddance then. Some people don’t deserve to stay on this earth.”

  I smiled. “Not a bitch. Truer words were never spoken and now the bean and I are safe and can settle into a new life without fear of someone hurting us.”

  “I’m happy for you, honey.”

  The elevator door opened to reveal a worried-looking Darik. He smiled when he saw me. “There you are,” He looked exhausted. “I waited for you in the lobby and when you didn’t come down I got worried and decided to come see if y
ou were still in your room.”

  “Sorry, it took some extra effort to get me out of the bed.”

  The nurse cleared her throat. “She’ll need someone to help her with that and other tasks while she heals. I’m assuming you’re a friend?”

  Darik nodded. “I think we could say I’m that. She’ll be staying with me for a while and I don’t mind helping her with whatever she needs. I’m a physical therapist, so she’s in good hands.”

  “She’s right here,” I pointed at myself as the nurse pushed me out of the elevator. “I’ll be fine either way. It’s not the first time I’ve had to make my body move when it was hurting and sore.”

  I felt both of their gazes on me. Yes, I meant when my husband had belted me until I had trouble walking, sitting, or laying. Hell, there had been times when I had to cry through lifting my arms to get dressed.

  “Well, I guess I’ll leave you with you gentleman friend then.” The nurse stepped aside so Darik could grab the handles of my wheelchair. “Just leave it inside the door once you have her in your vehicle.” She gave me a warm smile. “You take care of yourself and that bean of yours, Tessa. Call the hospital if you decide you want to hire an in-home nurse.”

  I smiled back. “I will. Thank you for the help.”

  “That’s what they pay me for.” She winked and stepped back into the elevator.

  “You ready?” Darik asked.

  “Yep. I hope you have pasta at your house because the bean and I have been dying for some.”

  Darik chuckled and pushed me toward the exit. “I happen to be a big fan of pasta myself so you two are in luck. You can have as much as you’d like once we get there.”

  I sighed dreamily at the thought of endless pasta. “You might have just become my favorite person, Mr. Bishop.”

  “You have low standards.” He tried to pass his comment off as a joke, but I could hear the guilt in his voice. He was being too hard on himself for something that was an accident.

  Not that I had room to talk since I was blaming myself as well. I shouldn’t have told Zack about the baby in the car. I should have waited until we had gotten home and given myself a chance to run from him.

  Instead, I’d trapped myself in the car with him, giving him a chance to try and force me to go to an abortion clinic…

  Chapter Thirteen

  Darik

  I locked the breaks on Tessa’s chair before opening the front passenger door of my Suburban.

  When I turned to help her into the Suburban, she had a faraway look on her face. She was clearly lost in thought.

  “Tessa,” I said in a low tone, trying not to startle her. It worked and she blinked a few times as she came back to reality. “Let’s get you into the truck.”

  She nodded and held her hand out to me. Taking it, I helped her stand.

  “Getting up in that seat is gonna hurt like a bitch.” I thought she was talking to herself more than to me.

  “I’ll help you, hang on.” I carefully scooped her up, ignoring her small cry of pain and set her on the passenger seat. “See? That had to have been less painful than having to climb up.”

  “It was. Thank you.”

  I buckled her in and put the chair inside like the nurse had told me, then I got in the Suburban and cautiously drove us to my house.

  “I’m gonna pull into the garage and we’ll go through the kitchen entrance. It only has one step.”

  “Sounds good. You have a nice house, Darik. I’m sorry to have to invade your space like this.”

  I parked in the garage and turned off the engine before looking at Tessa. “You’re not invading my space, Tess. I invited you to stay here because we are both going through some hard shit right now and we both have zero support systems. At least I assumed from what you said earlier that you didn’t. Don’t hesitate to correct me if I’m wrong.”

  Her eyes began to tear up. “You’re not wrong. The last person I had for support was my dad and he died a few months before Zack and I got married. He never liked him and begged me not to marry him,” She wiped a tear as it fell. “I should have listened to him.”

  “Was he violent before you married him?” I figured most abuse started after they trapped their victims with marriage.

  “No, he was so sweet and loving. He worshiped the ground I walked on. I still got glimpses of that man from time to time, until something set him off. That happened very easily.”

  I wanted to hug her and make her feel safe. To assure her that I would never do those things.

  “Then you can’t blame yourself for not listening to your dad. You had no way of knowing what was awaiting you after you said ‘I do.’”

  Tessa worried her lip. “If I agree to disagree, can we go inside and have that pasta you promised?”

  I chuckled and pushed my door open. “Absolutely.” Going around the front of the Suburban, I opened her door for her. “You want me to carry you inside and just bypass all the bullshit?”

  “You sure you don’t mind carrying me?” she asked, like she thought she was heavy.

  I unbuckled her and lifted her out of the seat. “I don’t mind, Tess. Whatever helps you hurt less.”

  She laid her head on my shoulder. “Your wife was a lucky woman.”

  I almost missed a step at her words. I hadn’t forgotten about Cecilia, but helping Tessa was a good distraction. “I’m sure she would disagree. We had our problems. We were scheduled to start marriage counseling next week. I’ll need to call and cancel.” I stopped when we entered the kitchen. “Do you want to hang out in here while I make dinner, or would you prefer the couch?”

  “Just take me to bed and I’ll make myself something in the morning.”

  I turned my head to look at her and she buried her face in my shoulder. “I’m not trying to be a controlling asshole like your ex, but you said you were dying for pasta which tells me you’re hungry. I’m not sending anyone to bed hungry, especially not a pregnant woman.” My voice was slightly raised so I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll take you to bed and then I’ll come back and make dinner and bring it to you. Deal?”

  Tessa nodded into my shoulder, clinging to me tighter with her good arm.

  I carried her to the spare room closest to mine and got her settled on the bed. “Guest bathroom is the second door down the hall, on the left. Ceci has some sweats that you’ll probably fit into for the night. Tomorrow you can make me a list and I’ll run out and get you some things to tide you over for a while.”

  “Do you miss her?” Tessa’s question caught me off guard.

  It wasn’t hard to answer though. “Every second of every minute. You miss him?”

  She didn’t hesitate to answer either. “Not a damn bit.”

  “Good. I’ll be back with clean clothes for you and then I’ll get dinner started.”

  I went to my room and stepped into Cecilia’s closet. The sight of all her clothes was like another knife in the heart. It smelled strongly of her in here too.

  I felt the familiar burn of oncoming tears and pushed it aside as I grabbed a flowy tank top and a pair of joggers I’d never seen Ceci wear before, then hurried from the closet. I couldn’t stand to stay in there a second longer or I’d break down again…

  Chapter Fourteen

  Tessa

  I nervously waited for Darik to come back with clean clothes for me. The nurse had helped me change into scrubs after the doctor gave me my discharge papers.

  I was nervous because I didn’t know how Darik was going to feel when he saw me wearing his dead wife’s clothes. I felt like it was shaky territory for us to be crossing into. Even though he had offered, I knew he was likely not thinking clearly in his grief.

  “All right, I’ve got joggers and a loose tank. I doubt you’ll want anything tight at the moment.” Darik held out a pair of gray joggers and a light purple top.

  I stood too quickly to grab them and was overtaken by a wave of dizziness.

  Darik was quick to
steady me. “Take it easy.”

  I winced at his warning tone. “Sorry,” I apologized, freezing in place to not anger him further. “It won’t happen again.”

  “Tessa.” His voice was gentle now, and I dared look up at him. His face was a mixture of emotions, the most obvious was concern. “I’m not mad. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.” He placed the clothes on the bed before helping me sit on the edge. “Do you need help changing?”

  I blushed. “I’ll need help with my shirt.” My voice was quiet.

  “Hmm, I might have an idea to make this less embarrassing for both of us. Are you okay with long sleeves?”

  I wanted to laugh at that. Instead, I smiled and nodded. “I’m good with long sleeves.”

  Darik smiled in return, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Awesome. I’ll go get one of my dress shirts and you can wear that for the night.”

  After he left the room, I stood, going much slower this time so I didn’t make myself dizzy. My body was so achy, but I was used to that, so I ignored its protest at my movements.

  I’d managed to get the scrub pants off and was attempting to bend far enough to get the joggers on with one hand when Darik came back into the room.

  I tried to cover myself with just my hands. “Sorry, I thought I could get changed before you came back.” I looked down at the floor.

  I knew Darik wouldn’t yell at me. I was having a hard time convincing my brain of that though.

  “No need to apologize, Tess. I can help with that too even if we’re both a little uncomfortable through the process. I’m here to help with whatever you need.”

  I watched a tear fall from the tip of my nose and splatter onto the hardwood below, and then another. “Thank you,” I forced out around the lump in my throat.

  “Hey,” Darik stepped up to me and wrapped me in a hug. He held me so gently I barely felt any pressure on my back. I could, however, feel the warmth of his body leaking into the front of me. It felt nice. Comforting even. “I know we’re both struggling right now, Tessa. You with the new reality of being free of your abusive husband, and the pregnancy,”