Making him whole Read online

  I could’ve thought of multiple reasons you should get into other people’s business.

  Domestic abuse was one of them.

  I hadn’t seen any bruises on my food gazer’s body but that didn’t mean something wasn’t hidden under that sweater dress.

  A sweater dress she was wearing when it was the middle of summer and almost ninety-five degrees out.

  “Still, wasn’t it odd that she was wearing a long-sleeved dress in this heat?”

  Cecilia groaned. “Seriously, Darik? What is your obsession with this chick? Is it because she might be pregnant?”

  “No! I’m just genuinely concerned about her wellbeing. Any decent human would be. This has nothing to do with whether or not she’s pregnant.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  I looked over at my wife. “Are you mad at me again?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m thinking.”

  “I love you, Ceci. Never forget that.”

  She looked over at me, then suddenly headlights flooded into the car. “Darik, look out!” she screamed just before our car smacked into something and everything went black…

  Chapter Eight

  Tessa

  “Are you fucking pregnant, Tess?” It wasn’t a question; it was an accusation.

  “I don’t want to talk about this while you’re driving, Zack.”

  “Oh my god, you are. Who’s the father?”

  Here we go. More accusations. “You’re the father. Who else do you think I’m sleeping with?” I shouldn’t be talking back but I was exhausted, hungry, and had had enough.

  “I don’t know. You’ve been leaving the house once a month for these appointments to get birth control which you clearly aren’t taking if you’ve got a little monster growing inside you.”

  I gasped and placed my hand over my bump as if to protect them from their father’s harsh words. “This baby is not a monster. This baby is more loved by me than you will ever be.”

  “So, you are pregnant.” The car made a sudden U-turn, sending my stomach reeling again.

  “What are you doing? Why did you turn around?”

  “Because, Tess, I’ve been anticipating this little issue arising for a while now. Something in my gut told me I needed to be prepared, so I researched abortion clinics and there happens to be one just outside of town. We’ll be there in twenty minutes and then we can take care of this problem and move on with our lives.”

  “No,” I said firmly. “I’m keeping this baby, Zack. Who I’m not keeping is you. Pull over and let me out.”

  “No fucking way. You’re mine, and that bastard inside of you is getting evicted asap. How long have you been hiding this from me, Tess?”

  “I’m nineteen weeks. Almost halfway and there is no fucking way I am aborting this baby. You can’t force me to do that.”

  I didn’t see his hand move before it struck me across the cheek. “You’ll have the abortion, or I’ll beat that thing out of you. Your choice.”

  I was still trying to shake the spots dancing in my vision when headlights filled the car. “Zack, look out!” I screamed as we slammed into the other vehicle.

  Then everything went black.

  I awoke sometime later to the sound of beeping machines.

  My hand immediately went to my bump as I tried to blink the blurriness from my eyes.

  “The baby is fine, Tessa.” I didn’t recognize the voice for a moment and then my vision cleared.

  Mystery man was sitting beside my bed. He looked like he’d been chewed up and spat back out with the bruises and cuts all over his face and arms.

  He looked how I felt.

  “Why are you here?” I asked, looking around in fear that Zack might come into the room at any minute with a doctor and announce my soon-to-be forced abortion. I saw no one though, not even a nurse. I looked back at the mystery man. “Where’s Zack?”

  He shook his head and frowned. “I don’t know how to say this, but he’s gone.”

  My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. “Gone?”

  Mystery man grabbed my hand that was resting protectively over my bean, and only then did I realize my other wrist was in a brace. “He was gone when the paramedics arrived. They said he died on impact. I’m sorry.”

  I lost it then. Crying harder and louder than I’d allowed myself to in years. And when arms wrapped me in a very gentle hug, I buried my face in mystery man’s chest and cried even harder.

  I probably sounded like I was dying, but in reality, I was releasing years of fear and sorrow into the chest of a man I didn’t even know the name of. Which was fine with me.

  I didn’t have to run now. I didn’t have to hide and live in fear.

  I could have a normal life with my child and never have to worry about the monster that tried to end us both…

  Chapter Nine

  Darik

  My heart and soul felt like they were being ripped apart further as Tessa wailed into my chest.

  I didn’t hold her tightly, knowing now about the bruises and lacerations on her back.

  “Those aren’t from the car accident,” the doctor had assured me when I’d asked about her injuries.

  Her son of a bitch husband had been abusing her. No wonder she hadn’t told him about the baby. A baby she’d almost lost because I’d been distracted and so had he. We’d both been halfway on the wrong side of the road when we’d collided head-on.

  Guilt. I felt so fucking guilty that I had been half responsible for this.

  That prick had gotten what he deserved in the end. A sick part of me had at least wanted him to suffer a little first.

  My sweet Cecilia didn’t deserve to die though. She’d made it out of the car and we’d both said I love you as they loaded us into separate ambulances, but something happened on the way here and they’d lost her.

  An autopsy would tell us exactly what the cause was. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know and add another layer to my guilt.

  Tessa’s wails slowly quieted to random hiccups, then she pushed my chest gently and I stepped away. “Sorry about that. I’m a bit of a mess right now.”

  I wanted to laugh but my bruised ribs hurt from where she’d pushed on them. I didn’t mind. The pain was good for me right now. “You have nothing to be sorry about, Tessa. This is half my fault. I’m just glad you and the baby are okay. I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if something had happened to either of you.”

  “You were in the other car…”

  I ran my fingers through my hair and started to pace as I explained the accident. I wasn’t unconscious that long after the collision and was able to call 911 to get us help quickly. When I told her about my wife passing, she started crying again, softly this time.

  “It’s okay. I know we don’t know each other but we’ve both lost someone tonight and I want to help you in any way I can.”

  She shook her head, more tears beginning to fall. “This is my fault.”

  “What? No, Tessa, --”

  She held her hand out to stop me and winced. “Yes. Zack turned that car around because I admitted I was pregnant, and he was taking me to an abortion clinic. He was trying to force me to have an abortion. If I had kept my mouth shut until we got home, we wouldn’t have been on the other side of the road and you and your wife would be fine right now. Enjoying the rest of your night together.”

  “And what would you be doing, Tess? Being beaten, or worse?” I knew I shouldn’t have thrown it in her face like that, but emotions were running high and I didn’t have a lot of self-control right then.

  Tessa reared back like I’d physically hit her and cried out in pain. “That’s not fair, whatever your fucking name is! You have no idea what I went through while I was married to that monster. You only know what you’ve seen, so don’t judge me. I’m sorry my marriage wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns like yours was.”

  “I think it’s time you go back to your room, Mr. Bishop,” the doctor said, stepping into the room. �
��I’ll come see you after I’ve checked on Mrs. McCarthy and the baby.”

  I accepted defeat for the moment, but there was no way I was willing to let Tessa think that any of the accident was her fault. The blame lay on the drivers of the cars. Me and Zack.

  “My name’s Darik by the way,” I said before walking out of her room and going back to my own.

  I’d probably get released in the morning, then I would have to go through the process of getting my lawyer up to speed with everything going on. I didn’t think I’d do jail time for what happened, though a part of me said I should. I’d killed my wife, after all.

  I dragged my tired, aching body into my bed and waited for the doctor to come visit me. I didn’t want to close my eyes though. Every time I did, I saw Cecilia’s face as she told me she loved me for the last time.

  I wondered if she knew it would be the last time. Did she know she was going to die?

  A tear fell and splattered onto my arm. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until then and I wondered if this was how Tessa felt earlier when I’d given her the news of her husband's death.

  My tears weren’t from pure relief, which I had been almost positive hers were. No, mine were from pure sorrow.

  The person I planned to spend my life with was gone. I didn’t give two fucks now if we never had kids as long as I could have Cecilia back…

  Chapter Ten

  July 29th, 2020

  Tessa

  “Everything looks great with the little one. Do you want to see if we can see what you’re having?” the ultrasound technician asked.

  The doctor had told me he’d release me if I got the all-clear from the OB on call.

  I chewed my lip and thought about if I was ready to know.

  Darik walked in holding a bouquet of yellow roses and froze when he saw my bare stomach. “Uh, sorry.” He started to back away slowly. “I’ll come back later.”

  I don’t know why but I reached for him. “Stay. I’m about to find out the sex of the baby.”

  “You’re sure?” His eyes were locked on my bump.

  “Darik.” Me saying his name snapped him out of his fixation on the bean and his eyes met mine. “The doctor said you called 911 and saved me and bean.” I’d been stuck in the upside-down car and had to be cut out. I’d gotten very lucky because of him. “Stay and meet the little person you helped keep safe.”

  “Okay,” he whispered, approaching the bed.

  The technician smiled at us. “Are we ready to see if this little guy or girl wants to reveal themselves?”

  I took Darik’s hand into mine, holding on for dear life and nodded.

  If you’d have told me yesterday I’d be finding out the sex of my child with a stranger as my only support, I would’ve called you a liar. But there I was, not even a widow for twelve hours, holding the hand of the man who had a part in the accident that took both of our spouses.

  Goddess, he must’ve been devastated, and yet he was there trying to support me through the chaos. I’m sure some of it was out of guilt, but he’d tried to help me at the restaurant before the accident, too, which told me that he was just a good person.

  “Is that...?” Darik asked, pointing at a spot on the screen.

  The ultrasound tech smiled and nodded. “Yep. We have a little boy. Congratulations, mama and…”

  She waited for an answer to who this man was tearing up over the sight of my little boy.

  I squeezed Darik’s hand. “He’s the baby’s godfather.”

  Darik’s eyes snapped to mine, half stunned, half excited. “Seriously?”

  “If you want the title. He’ll need someone to look after him if something ever happens to me and you’ve already proven you care about us.”

  “I don’t know what to say, Tessa…” Darik paused and looked back at the screen.

  Bean had moved and was now trying to suck his thumb. The kid was only half-cooked and was already unbearably adorable.

  “Look at that face, mama.” The technician took some snaps of bean sucking his thumb, then took some measurements followed by more snaps that started to print out. Bean started moving again. This time he seemed to be trying to escape his photo session. “This boy is gonna be a handful.”

  “I’m well aware. He’s already keeping me busy from in there. I’m gonna be exhausted after he’s born, but having him healthy and happy will be more than worth all the other stuff.”

  “I accept.” Darik’s sudden answer had me beaming at him.

  “Awesome,” I said, focusing on helping the tech wipe all the goo from my belly, then pulled my gown down. Only then did I move the blanket that was covering my lower half. I tore one of the thumb sucking shots off the strip of pictures and handed it to Darik. “Here. I don’t expect anything from you other than you just being a fullback for him. I do, however, expect to be allowed to send you lots of pictures as he grows.”

  He laughed and took the print out. “I wouldn’t mind being the cool uncle. And maybe coming along to all your appointments with you from now on. Is that something you’re comfortable with?”

  “I’m not sure that’s what uncles do but I don’t mind having the support. I don’t have anyone else in my life at the moment.” It sounded sad in my head. Out loud it sounded pathetic.

  “I’ve never had the chance to be an uncle, so I honestly don’t know the line for that. I say we make our own line and go from there.” Darik bent and kissed my forehead, surprising me. “I have to go take care of a bunch of stuff, but I’ll be back later to check on you two.”

  I nodded and rubbed my bump. “We’ll be here until I get the all-clear from the OB.”

  “I’ll leave my number in case you get released before I come back.” He grabbed a notepad out of the bedside table drawer and jotted down his number, handing it to me. “Call me when they release you and I’ll come pick you up and take you home.”

  “I’m not going back to that house, Darik. I’ll get a hotel room and crash there until I can get the house sold and find something nice for me and bean.”

  Darik thought for a moment. “I know this might seem forward, but would you like to stay at my house until you find something? I have four bedrooms so there’s plenty of room, even if you end up staying after bean comes.” He paused. “You're not actually naming him that, right?”

  I laughed, ignoring the pain it caused in my sore body. “Goddess, no. What kind of mother do you think I am?”

  Now it was his turn to laugh while holding his ribs. “I think you’re already a great mom, Tess.” He looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. “I have to get going. Lots of legal stuff to wade through.”

  “Because of the accident?” I asked.

  “Yea. I’m hoping they don’t give me more than some fines. I don’t want to do jail time though part of me believes it’s exactly what I deserve.”

  I reached out for his hand and he gave it. “If this was anyone’s fault, it’s mine. If you refuse to blame me then we agree this is an accident on both sides. Agreed?”

  “If it makes you sleep better at night then yes, I agree that it was an accident.”

  “Glad that’s settled.” I knew he was lying to make me feel better. “Now get out of here so the bean and I can have a nap. We’re tired.”

  Darik said bye and leaned down to tell bean bye as well. My heart broke at the idea that he could’ve been planning a family with his wife and now it was all gone.

  I decided right then that I didn’t mind sharing my pregnancy experience with him if it made him feel better about losing his wife. It would be good for bean to have a male role model around too. One that wouldn’t teach him to treat women like they were beneath him.

  I had a feeling things were somehow going to be okay as I laid my head on my stiff hospital pillow and drifted off to sleep…

  Chapter Eleven

  Darik

  I left the hospital and went straight to my lawyer’s office to get him up to speed on everything that had happened. Thank
fully, he’d already spoken to the police and been told they didn’t intend to file any serious charges against me. I would pay a shit ton of fines and possibly lose my license for a bit.

  I was okay with that. I still felt it was less than I deserved.

  Then I thought of Tessa and the baby.

  She’d asked me to be his godfather. To help watch over him.

  I couldn’t do that if I was in prison.

  I wondered what Cecilia would have said about all of this.

  “What am I supposed to do, Ceci?” I asked the universe, hoping that maybe my wife might somehow hear and answer me.

  She didn’t.

  “We’re here,” the taxi driver announced, pulling to a stop in my driveway.

  This was my first time being home since Ceci and I had left the night before.

  I remembered her laughter as we got into her car to celebrate our anniversary. Seven years of marriage. We’d been together for ten, though. A whole decade spent loving a woman that was no longer here.

  I paid the driver and made my way inside.

  The smell of Cecilia’s perfume hit me as soon as I stepped through the front door. A sharp pain like someone had stabbed me with a knife in the chest hit me, almost doubling me over.

  I pushed myself further into the house, going room to room, replaying memories that I had of her in those spaces. And with each room, the pain in my chest built until I felt like I was being suffocated with it.

  By the time I reached our bedroom, I couldn’t stand anymore.

  I collapsed onto the bed and cried like I hadn’t since I was a child. I cried like those times I’d skinned my knee and needed my mom to kiss the pain away. Except this time I had broken my own heart and needed my wife to come back and stop its bleeding.

  I didn’t know how long I had lain there with my face buried in Ceci’s pillow, getting lost in the smell of her shampoo. I didn’t care. At some point, I’d run out of tears and began drifting in and out of consciousness.

  When my cell phone rang, I pulled it from its clip and answered it. “Hello?” I’m sure my voice didn’t hide that I was a wreck.