Making him whole Read online

  “Darik, it’s time to get up and start getting ready.” Tessa nudged my shoulder, clearly unaware that I was already awake and dreading today. “Come on, we only have two hours to get you cleaned up and out the door.”

  Yea, so I hadn’t showered since before the accident.

  “Since when are you taking care of me?” I grumbled, throwing the comforter off and sitting up.

  Tessa ruffled my hair affectionately. “Since you decided to keep the hygiene of a homeless person. Actually, I think that’s an insult to homeless people.” She went into my closet and moments later came out with a suit and dress shoes. “Go get in the shower while I make us breakfast.”

  I wanted to hate her for being even a hint of happy today. The day that I would lay my wife in the ground. I couldn’t, though. Tessa had gone through hell to be able to be happy. I had no intention of holding that against her even if my heart was too broken to share her enthusiasm for life at the moment.

  “Fine,” I huffed, getting up and stumbling toward the bathroom. I turned back to look at her before stepping inside. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes.”

  “Good,” Tessa’s smile faded. “I’m sorry you have to do this, Darik. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”

  “Thanks,” I said, then stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

  I’d let Cecilia’s parents know the other survivor in the car crash was going to be attending the funeral with me. To my surprise, they said they didn’t mind her coming.

  That might change when they learned she’d been living in my house with me. I hadn’t been quite sure how to tell them that part. I also didn’t mention that she’d be driving me because my driver’s license had been temporarily suspended until at least my court date. The judge might choose to extend the suspension when he decided what my punishment would be for being half responsible for the accident.

  I showered quickly and got dressed. Skipping shaving, I brushed my teeth and then headed to the kitchen.

  Tessa had bacon, eggs, and toast waiting for me on a plate on the island.

  She was already eating.

  “I was going to wait for you, but bean refused to wait for his food,” she said with an apologetic look.

  That did draw a small smile from me. “He’s a growing boy, Tess. I don’t expect him to wait for his breakfast.”

  No matter how shitty I’d felt these last five days, thinking about the baby always boosted my spirits a little. He might have been the reason I hadn’t gone on a drinking binge. I’d been damn tempted a few times.

  “That he is,” Tessa patted her bump and grinned. “I think he’s gonna be built like a tank like my dad was. He was a big baby too.”

  I sat down and debated whether I should try to eat my food.

  “Oh, yea? How big was your dad?” I asked, tearing off a piece of toast and popping it into my mouth.

  “He was an even ten pounds.”

  I almost choked on my second bite. “Holy shit!” I looked at Tessa and pointed at her stomach. “You think the baby is gonna weigh ten pounds?”

  She shrugged. “We won’t know till the day comes. My twenty-week checkup is tomorrow. I’ll ask the doctor then what she thinks about his size thus far. I swear I woke up yesterday and my stomach had popped overnight.”

  “Well, you’re eating better now and more relaxed so maybe your body is finally able to focus its energy on growing the bean instead of all the other stuff that was happening to it.”

  Tessa looked down at her plate. “You’re probably right.”

  “Hey,” I placed my hand on hers, squeezing it. “You were doing the best you could with what you had in the moment. You did good keeping him safe and hidden. It was the right call.”

  Tessa gave me a small smile. “Thank you.”

  She didn’t need to specify what she was thanking me for. I knew she was thanking me for validating her choices with her pregnancy. I wholly believed that given the situation she had been in, she’d made the right choices to keep them both safe until she could find a way out. She’d even found a way to see a doctor to make sure her son was healthy, which impressed me further.

  We finished our food and then headed out the door.

  I was wearing a black suit and black dress shoes that Tessa had picked for me. She was wearing a simple black sundress that went down to her ankles with black sandals. She was right, her bump had grown, and the dress wasn’t hiding it. In fact, it was beautifully showcasing it.

  I hurried ahead and opened the driver’s side door for her. “Madame.”

  “Thanks,” Tessa said, letting me help her up into the driver’s seat so she didn’t have to hurt herself moving more than necessary.

  Shutting her door, I went around to the passenger side and climbed in.

  Then we were headed to the funeral home…

  Chapter Eighteen

  Tessa

  “I don’t want to do this,” Darik whispered, burying his face in his hands as we pulled into the funeral home parking lot.

  I put the Suburban in park and turned toward him. “I know you don’t. I felt the same way when my dad died. It’s like this is the last thing standing between you and having to admit they’re gone. Having to see them in that casket. Having to watch that casket be lowered into the ground knowing any chance of seeing their face outside of pictures or memories is officially gone. You’ll never see them smile or hear them laugh.” I started to get choked up and had to stop talking for a moment.

  “I don’t want to say goodbye.” Darik’s voice was strangled. “I don’t think I can do this, Tess.” He lifted his face from his hands and looked at me, knocking the air from my lungs with the sadness and pain in his eyes.

  “Darik.” Our tears fell at the same time and I reached over to wipe his away. “You’re not alone in this. I’m gonna be however close you need me to be.” I rubbed my now very obvious bump. “And bean will be there, too. We’ve got you.”

  Darik looked down and gave a watery smile to my bump. “I’m glad you’re both here with me.”

  “Me too.” I pushed my door open and eased myself out before turning back to Darik. “Come on, big boy, we have a wife to say goodbye to.”

  It might have sounded cold but Darik didn’t need someone to sugar coat stuff for him right now. He needed someone to firmly point him in the right direction or he was going to fall apart before we even got inside.

  I knew that road of despair all too well and I’d be damned if I’d let Darik navigate it alone.

  Darik wiped his face and straightened his tie, then he pushed his door open and got out.

  Shutting my door, I went around to join him.

  “Shall we?” he asked, offering me his arm.

  “We shall.”

  Once inside we were immediately greeted by a beautiful blonde woman. She looked very similar to Cecilia.

  “Darik.” Her tone was not inviting, then she turned her cold eyes to me. “And you are?”

  “Tessa,” I nervously held my hand out. “I was in the other vehicle.”

  She looked at my hand and then to my bump, her eyes going wide. “You’re pregnant…”

  “Yes--”

  “Nina,” Darik warned, interrupting me. “It shouldn’t matter if she’s pregnant or not. She was in that accident, too.”

  Nina gave him a look. It was one I was familiar with and I instinctively stepped behind Darik, using him as a shield.

  “It matters because she lived,” Nina’s eyes met mine as I peeked around Darik’s arm. “And is oddly very comfortable with you. How long have you two known each other?”

  “You’re not seriously insinuating what I think you are,” Darik said, shaking his head. “Your sister was the love of my life, and you are accusing me of cheating on her at her fucking funeral?”

  I wanted to stand up for him, but his raised voice had me wanting to back away from him.

  “What in the world is going on over here?” An older man asked, walking ove
r to us with an older woman that looked like an older version of Nina.

  Nina turned to them. “Darik has brought his mistress to Cecilia’s funeral.”

  The older couple's eyes immediately went to me.

  “I’m not,” I pointed between me and Darik. “This is not how it looks. I was in that accident too; I lost my husband. I just--” I started to cry.

  I could blame hormones, but the truth was that I was overwhelmed and scared.

  I didn’t like being accused of something I didn’t do. That’s when you got punished…

  Chapter Nineteen

  Darik

  “Shit,” I cursed, gently wrapping Tess in a hug when she started to cry. “She’s here to support me and pay respect to Cecilia.” I glared at Nina. “I would have come alone if I’d known she’d be attacked like this.”

  “No one is attacking anyone,” my father-in-law Stephen said, giving Nina a look that said ‘shame on you.’

  Nina scoffed. “Oh, so Darik brings a pregnant chick to Cecilia’s funeral and I’m the bad guy? Unbelievable!” Then she stomped off to the front of the church.

  I pulled back and looked down at Tessa. “You okay?”

  “Yea. Hormones!” She laughed a hollow laugh.

  “Well, we apologize for our daughter’s behavior,” my mother-in-law said, stepping up and offering her hand to Tessa. “I’m Scarlett, Nina and Cecilia’s mom.”

  Tessa sniffled and took the offered hand, shaking it. “Tessa.”

  Scarlett looked down at Tessa’s stomach. “How far along are you if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Twenty weeks.”

  Scarlett smiled. “That’s a fun time to be pregnant. After the morning sickness, and before the discomfort of being the size of a house.” Both women laughed. “Come, let me introduce you to the rest of the family.”

  Tessa gave me a worried look.

  “You’re okay. I’ll be around here somewhere when you're done,” I assured her.

  She nodded before letting Scarlett pull her away.

  “Scarlett won’t hurt her; she just needs something to focus on besides the nightmare we’re all currently trapped in,” Stephen said.

  “I gotta be honest, Stephen. Tessa is the only reason I’m standing here right now. If she hadn’t woken me up and thrown clean clothes at me, I’d still be in bed.”

  “She’s living with you?” he asked, and I nodded.

  “Let me explain.”

  And thankfully he did.

  I told him about the dinner and everything that happened afterward including the conversation Cecilia and I were having when I drifted into the other lane. I told him about Tessa’s husband being an abusive dick and how she wasn’t comfortable going back to a house that was her prison. I told him about the legal ramifications that I was facing for being half responsible. All of it. I didn’t leave anything out.

  “That’s a lot of stuff to deal with, Son. And while I want to be mad and beat you within an inch of your life for taking my baby girl away from me, I also understand from a logical standpoint that accidents happen.” Stephen looked over his shoulder to the front of the church and then back to me. “Are you ready to see her?”

  I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat and nodded. “Yes, sir. I at least owe her a proper farewell.”

  We walked toward Cecilia’s casket together.

  I didn’t know what I would feel when I laid eyes on her for the first time since seeing her being loaded up into the ambulance.

  Her face came into view and the sight of her had my knees threatening to give out.

  Stephen held me steady. “Easy, Darik. I know this is hard.”

  I grabbed ahold of the side of the casket and bowed my head. “Can you give me a minute alone with her?”

  “Sure. I’ll go find Scarlett and Tessa.” Stephen gave my back a firm pat before walking away.

  I stared down at my beautiful wife. She looked so peaceful. I had to fight the urge to climb in beside her and beg them to bury us together.

  “Fuck, Ceci.” It took a moment to be able to speak without falling apart. “I miss you. God, I miss everything about you, even how you insisted on painting your toenails in bed and always getting the polish on the comforter. You’d think you would have learned after the fourth time we had to use polish remover on the blanket before washing it. I guess you were stubborn that way, huh?” I wiped the tears that were now dripping onto Cecilia’s dress.

  It was her wedding dress I realized, landing another blow to my chest.

  I was now completely doubled over, my forehead resting on Cecilia’s shoulder. “I will never forget that day, seeing you walking down the aisle toward me. That was the happiest day of my life. I didn’t want you to go, Ceci. I don’t care that you didn’t want kids anymore. I would rip my dream of being a dad out of my brain and set it on fucking fire if it meant you’d come back to me. My soul needs you!” I began sobbing.

  The pain was suffocating me. I didn’t mind though. I would willingly go if it meant being with my wife again.

  I was suddenly pulled into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay, Son.” Stephen’s voice whispered hoarsely into my ear. I couldn’t even imagine the pain he was feeling. He had lost his child.

  I hugged him back, grateful for not having to worry about hurting him as I placed some of my weight on him and cried. At sixty-five, Stephen was still a sturdy man.

  We stood there for a few minutes before Stephen patted my back and pulled away. “Let’s take our seats, the service is about to start.”

  I nodded and followed him to our seats.

  I felt a lot of eyes on me as we walked. It was a good thing I didn’t care what other people thought. I was getting through my grief any way I could, even if that meant being held by another man while I cried. Sometimes a man needed a stronger shoulder to lean on. No shame in that…

  Chapter Twenty

  Tessa

  Watching Darik have a full breakdown over his wife had broken my heart. He really loved her.

  Scarlett had seated me up front with the family even after I insisted I could sit elsewhere. She’d been so accepting of me, which made me a little wary of her intentions. It had been nice having a mother figure fawn over me being pregnant.

  My mom died of lung cancer when I was nine, leaving me and my dad to figure it out on our own. I knew that was one of the reasons we were so close.

  I felt someone looking at me and turned my head to see Nina glaring from the other side of the aisle. I didn’t know why she thought I was Darik’s mistress.

  I’d learned a long time ago that some people make shit up to have a reason to be mad at you. Nothing anyone could do about it.

  “Here we are,” Stephen said, guiding Darik to a seat beside me before looking at me. “You watch him, okay?”

  I nodded. “Of course.” I took Darik’s hand into mine and placed our hands in my lap.

  The service started and with every person that gave a speech about how much of an amazing person Cecilia was, Darik squeezed my hand a little tighter. Like I was the only thing keeping him from falling apart again.

  “Cecilia’s husband is going to come up and say a few words now.” The priest announced, looking at Darik.

  This time I squeezed his hand tighter and he looked at me with bloodshot eyes. “You can do this, Darik. Bean and I believe in you.” I knew using my son as motivation was wrong, but it worked.

  Darik’s eyes lit up a little as he looked down at my bump. “Okay,” he whispered, then he stood and approached the podium.

  “I’ve been listening to all these amazing stories about my wife and I just want to say how thankful I am that you all have chosen to share them with us. Cecilia was the love of my life.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I’m having some trouble...” His voice was shaking. “Cecilia was the love of my life and there are so many things that drew me to her before I even realized that fact.

  “The first time I met her, I was jogging
when I heard someone calling from a tree just off the trail. At first, I thought I was hearing things until they called out again. I followed the voice and found this stunning woman in the tree. She’d found a baby bird on the ground and was attempting to put it back in the nest. That was the moment I discovered how caring she was. I climbed that tree that day knowing I was asking her on a date after. She told me later on that as soon as she saw me, she thought the same thing. Fate has a funny way of bringing you the people you need when you need them.” Darik glanced at me briefly. “I just wish I understood why fate took her away.”

  Stephen stepped up to Darik before he could break down again. “Thank you, Darik.” He clapped Darik on the back and led him back to his seat beside me.

  “That concludes today’s service…” The priest went on to say, directing everyone to what was happening next.

  Darik and Stephen helped put Cecilia’s casket into the hearse and then we all loaded into the limo that was meant for only the family. I wasn’t fighting my presence among this family anymore. They had enough to deal with so if they wanted me present with them through it all, then I would be here.

  Well, all of them but one. I did my best to ignore Nina’s glares.

  At the cemetery, we piled out and went to the gravesite. The family all had chairs waiting for them while the rest of us had to stand. My back was killing me at this point, and I tried to casually rub it to relieve some of the ache.

  “Here, honey, you can have my seat.” Scarlett offered, standing from her seat.

  “Mom, she doesn’t need your seat,” Nina whined. Yes, she’d actually sounded like a whiny child.

  “Hush, Nina. The girl is pregnant and needs to sit.”

  I waved her off. “It’s fine, Scarlett. I’ll survive for a little while longer.”

  “No, I insist.” She placed her hand on my back and I did my best not to flinch away at the pain.

  I still had tender spots there.

  I sat down and sighed when some of the pressure was relieved from my lower back and hips. “Thank you, Scarlett.”